Congratulations You Have Cancer
Welcome to your life PhD Program
I know this isn’t the normal response from people when they learn you have cancer, and you are probably a little bit shocked right now. Perhaps you are a lot shocked and possibly even offended. If you are getting pissed off and are considering closing this page and forgetting you ever heard about me, I invite you to take a few deep breaths, close your eyes for a moment and check in with yourself.
Not the you who wants to fit in and be liked, or the you who always asks for advice about what to wear to a big event, or even the you who knows your diagnosis is going to get you a lot of sympathy, compassion and attention, and who is secretly looking forward to that. Those versions of yourself are tapped into the baser parts of the mass consciousness. That you lives by societal rules that say “Don’t ever let them see you sweat,” “It’s better to look good than to feel good,” and “Keep smiling no matter what.” That you doesn’t know what you really feel because you’ve been so focused on putting up a good front, making other people happy and going along to get along. That you probably doesn’t even realize that you do this. ;)
That you is often a victim of your circumstances. Whenever something goes wrong you get upset and let it ruin your day, your week, your year or your life. That you blames others when things don’t go your way, and makes them responsible for your happiness. That you thinks the system is stacked against you and it’s impossible to really get ahead. Life isn’t fair and the glass is half empty. These are the messages the media and culture often sell us, and we have bought them, hook, line and sinker. We believe we have no control of our lives and are at the whim of fate.
There is another version of you - one that might be buried down deep inside - that knows you are responsible for your life and how it goes. It knows that you are never a victim of your circumstances – that no matter what happens to you, you get to choose how you will respond to it. That you knows that anything is possible, that life is designed to give us challenges that will help us learn the lessons we need to be successful. That taking responsibility is the only way to be the “master of your fate, the captain of your soul.” (I just love that Invictus poem, don't you?)
That you recognizes that we live in a culture that doesn’t often support this kind of thinking, that has taught us to “get ours” because opportunities and resources are limited. That if someone else wins, we have to lose. That vulnerability is weakness, and authenticity is for suckers. It has taught us time and time again that those who abuse their power come out on top, and we have just been too nice, too forgiving and too timid. And you can choose, in this moment, to listen to whichever version of yourself you want to. You can ALWAYS choose your perspective about everything, and your emotions and actions will follow whatever perspective you choose.
Is there a still small voice inside of you telling you that there is something to this? That cancer could be a huge blessing? That you have just signed up for the PhD program in living fully and loving completely? That opportunities for growth often come disguised as giant sh*t sandwiches? That there is another way to live?
OR, are you still mad? If the answer is yes, then I encourage you to stop reading right now, and forget you ever heard about me. (Really.) I am not the coach, mentor, survivorship guide for you. Blessings.
If you are even the tiniest bit curious about what else is possible. If you feel like
just maybe there might be something to what I'm saying, and you want to learn
how to make the most of what has been, up til now, possibly one of the
worst and scariest experiences of your life then keep reading. . . .