​©2015 Tracy Maxwell

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May 30, 2014

Attraction is not personal. A wise person said this to me recently. He is right, of course. We are either attracted to someone or we aren’t. It’s not personal. But boy does it often feel like it is. Imbalanced relationships are tough. When one person feels more than the other it can feel uncomfortable. If he’s just not that into you, might that change as he gets to know you better? When he sees your playful side? When you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Or is this just the way it is? If you’re just not that into him initially, but you like spending time with him, laugh at his jokes, and have lots in common, can the attraction grow over time?


I clearly do not have the answers to these questions. I have often taken it personally when someone isn’t attracted to me. Embarrassingly, I once cal...

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